What is it you want from the Lord? What do you want in life? The self-centric person seeks their own interests, but the man centered in Jesus seeks the will of the Father. Our joy and fulfillment in life flow from our oneness with Jesus. Frustration, fear, bitterness and slander of others does not come from the Christ centered person. James 4 states it pretty clearly. If we truly desire the things of God, we will have them because we serve a good and loving Father. He will not grant self-destructive, self motivated requests, but only that which builds up His Son and all those who are hidden in Him.
Let go of pride and bitterness. Let go of self desires, and love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.