Read this in section on "Marriage" in the book "Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ" by Dallas Willard and wanted to share some thoughts on it.
"Today there is about a fifty-percent divorce rate in America, and the rate is not much lower for professing Christians. But the problem is not divorce - though divorce generates a set of problems all its own. The problem is that people don't know how to be married. They don't actually get married in many cases, though they go through a legal and possibly a religious ceremony. They are, sad to say, incapable of marriage-the kind of constant, mutual blessing that can make two people in conjugal relationship literally one whole person (Eph 5:22-23). It is not their fault. In their world, how could they know? Who would teach them? This is the soul-searing fact at the heart of our modern sadness." - Dallas Willard (Renovation of the Heart)I believe this mariage dilema is just one of many failures in our society where people do not know how to live right and live biblically through Christ. We live in a time where there is more preaching, teaching, and Christian resources available through books, TV, and internet than ever before. Where then does the problem lie? Most churches think they are getting it done, but they obviously aren't. I think the problem is simply that our goal is to conform people to Christianity and church life rather than lead them to a real transformation through Christ. Why do we chose the former method? Because we ourselves are often incapable of the later. We have not submitted our life wholely and completely to the Holy Spirit and thereby maintain our own self-centered patterns of living. What will it take to correct this situation? Yield your life. Let it fall into the ground and die through obedience. Only then can you really live and thereby help introduce others to true life and freedom in Christ.