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July 16, 2013

Seeing Myself

One of the difficulties with solitude and spiritual reflection is that we see our own self reflected in the silence. We tend to build identities and facades around our lives which become meaningless in God's presence. Henry Nouwen says discernment is relational and its a two way street. If we want to see God and know His will, then we must be willing to be seen by God and have our own will exposed. Its strange how God knows all things, yet like Adam we try to hide our pride, fears, and insecurities when God is near. Nouwen says in times of solitude his own anger and desire to be special and admired would come to the surface. He says "I began to see how in so many ways I had been living for my own glory rather than for the greater glory of God". I have found God's very presence will bring transformation. We may want to return to our life with our self delusions in tact, but once they are exposed to the truth we are not the same. Continuing to live for our own glory will only bring more turmoil in our soul. When we agree to release our will and walk with God we will begin to see and hear Him more clearly.