Kingdom living means always being 'Other' focused. Think about how your words will affect this person whether they are present or not, whether they will every hear your words or not. Chose words that will honor that person who God loves. We have a choice no matter what the situation. This gets difficult and even near impossible when we think with our own minds rather than the mind of Christ. Stop, take a breath, ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind and fill your heart with His love...and then speak.