Growing up, talking about or practicing meditation was frowned upon. I was taught that it was something people who were into Humanism, self-help movements, and New Age ideologies did. It was OK though if it was referenced in Joshua 1:8 which says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it." 

I wish it was clearer that practicing meditation is not the issue. It's the focus of the meditation that matters. Meditation is a valuable tool that I'm finding I need more and more. Meditation is a vital aspect of spiritual disciplines, especially prayer and reading God's Word. I've found I need to set aside time to just meditate and focus my mind. If my relationship with God is at the core of my being, then that will be my focus.

I can't be the person God intends or walk the kingdom path he has placed before me on my own. The crazy, chaotic, stresses of life push me into survival mode where I do just enough to get through. Thats not the life of flourishing and overcoming that I want. I find I'm frequently stuck on the same rollercoaster that the Apostle Paul talks about in Rom. 7:15-20, not doing what I know I need to do and instead doing the very things I hate. The ups and downs of hopeful recognition of what needs to be done followed by the frustrating reality of failing yet again can be debilitating.

Paul says, "I do not understand my own actions..." Thats why I need to take time each morning to stop, be still, breathe deeply, and try to focus my mind. I need to ask the Holy Spirit for help again. I need to meditate on the goodness of God. I need to find my way back to a healthy mindset and be reminded of the things I know I need to do and be. 

Take it one day at a time. Do the right thing and the good thing you know you need to do today. Finish your day in gratitude, looking back on the steps you took on the right path. Then re-focus again the next morning. 

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